It is the Erotic hope that our endeavor to rise above it all will at one point topple. It is a strange hope but it is the beginning of living in reality. And yet it is a humbling moment when we realize the intellect is not capable of navigating and has given us a counterfeit version of life.
There was always something disconcerting about the people who did not adhere to the edicts of the tumescent self. They might be called weak, unsophisticated, not in the least bit intellectual, not rational, dependent and labeled as childlike, impetuous, slovenly, and strangely resistant to the temptation to hold themselves separate. And yet they hold a power. They can smell the truth. They have no lag time. There is an immediacy to them.
In moments of grace, tumescence may give up the fight and come down from the mountain. And when it does, it will encounter Eros. Eros does not care if we know; it cares only if we are willing, although it does appreciate kindness. Are we willing to see, know, and abide by the deeper truths of nature?
Eros asks only that we relinquish this separate artificial self. In its place we are presented with our Erotic self; the unique and essential truth of who we are, what we are here to do and bring, and how we fit into the great puzzle of being.
This happens by going down—not above-ground where trees are seen in separation, but down to the roots of truth, to one interconnected knowing. It is a relief to not always hold oneself up above this underlying reality, or to keep building up further and further away from it, first into the intellect then into “spirit.” It is a relief to get down into the dirt of truth.
It can be overwhelming. It can feel like we have entered a din of chaos. The tumescent mind allows for no disruptions of the static self. Entry into the valley of the body Eros is rich with sound and colors and sensations—mayhem.
It takes time to sink into the seamless tapestry of it and to live in open exchange with life. But when we do, we find a dynamic stillness and a sense of self that has real power.