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Not Knowing Is an Honorable Spot

Published May, 2024

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The practice of finding the spot is to keep inquiring and projecting, looking at different places, and seeing if the sparks of consciousness go on anywhere. It’s easy to overlook the truth that this is the process of creation: All the options are here, right now, and we are trying to find the spot. We find the spot by moving in between the options. If nothing lights up, we don’t land. In Orgasmic Meditation (OM), we don’t put our finger down because if we do, we are feigning to draw life from the lifeless, creating tumescence out of tumescence. 

—Not knowing is a vital stage of creation. —

Typically, we are so uncomfortable not knowing where the spot is, that we don’t fully immerse ourselves into the state of feeling like we don’t know where the spot is.

The Honor of Not Knowing  

Not knowing is actually a spot. How do we skillfully stroke not knowing? People try to bypass this stage and either wind up with uninformed attention or with inattentive action. This happens with the masculine aspect sometimes, where he feels like he has to know because he doesn’t recognize not knowing is an honorable state. He desperately feels like he needs to know. However, he’s not yet at an action state that’s informed by a turned-on direction but he feels like he has to act regardless.

how to be more feminine books meditation

Misguided Actions  

So, he ends up clawlike—tight, cramping, closed, rigid, and sharp. Or, because the state of not knowing feels dishonorable to him, he feels he has to withdraw or hide. He doesn’t know what to do. His mind is telling him he should know something he doesn’t and so he hides or withdraws in the shame that appears as a result of not honoring the not-knowing state. 

—Hiding and withdrawing are unnecessary indulgences. —

If we were to honor the state of not knowing, then we would realize the response to every mistake we’ve ever made is compassion.

Compassion as a Response  

The response to every mistake we’ve ever seen anyone else make is compassion.

It’s a hard realization—that now, the only response to anything, really, is compassion.

The resonant kind of compassion may range from heavy-pressure compassion to nurturing compassion to affirmative compassion, but it’s still compassion. It’s the only appropriate response to anyone’s behavior when we recognize the not-knowing state in them despite the attention being directed at the ill-informed action they took.

Realizations and Reality  

We come to understand that anything anyone has ever done to us is the result of not knowing a better way. When we have this realization, that is the only thing we have to hold on to, not anger or resentment or malice. Everyone must realize this for themselves. When that happens, we see reality in a new way.

Any criticism or derision becomes the understanding that there is a “noble not knowing” or a “noble unknowing” that is a stage of creation.

—The result and beauty of this realization is that we all get to live in a world where shame is replaced by compassion.—

Buy The Eros Sutras Vol. 1 Here

Related Sutras:

Sutra 28 | Threatened by Good

Sutra 41 | The Hallway

Sutra 42 | Fullness Cushions Reactivity

Related Post:

The Intersection of Feminine Spirituality and Feminism


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