When I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation, I could relate to it a lot, but I didn’t do anything about it at first. About five years later, a friend mentioned OM—Orgasmic Meditation—to me once again, and it was the next piece of my puzzle—exactly what I needed to do.
By then, I’d done enough work getting in touch with my desires, so when I felt strongly about something, I’d say yes. That was exactly what happened with Orgasmic Meditation—my whole body knew I needed to do it. I was also missing the aspect of intimate connection in my life and knew I needed it. So, I took an introductory class to learn Orgasmic Meditation (OM) and started immersing myself in the practice.
Before OMing, I didn’t have a lot of friends or do much with other people. I was living out in the country, feeling isolated. I ate and watched a lot of television. I didn’t realize it, but I was really numb to life; I didn’t feel very alive. When I took the introductory Orgasmic Meditation class, I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to OM. I was a bit hesitant. But when I walked into the room, I realized I had never felt so comfortable around people, particularly men. I looked everyone in the eye. I even asked someone to OM!
My first Orgasmic Meditation was just amazing. I felt seen by the stroker and very comfortable. It was a totally electric experience. I felt free. I felt at home. I felt right about my choice and very grateful. One of the hardest parts of the practice for me was asking people to OM, particularly in the beginning. I really feared rejection. Just opening my mouth and saying, “Would you like to OM?” was difficult for me at first—and still is, to a certain extent. Initially, I didn’t ask for adjustments in my OMs very much. Now, I ask the stroker for the kind of adjustments I really want—left, right, more pressure, slower, whatever it is in the moment—and I’m not afraid to say out loud what I want.
In the past, I would have had so much fear and anxiety about adjusting. I would have felt afraid. I used to constantly give up on myself to make sure that nobody else’s feelings would get hurt. I wouldn’t stand up for myself when I was a strong “no” about something, and I wouldn’t ever express my desires or ask for what I really wanted.
After practicing Orgasmic Meditation for a while, I entered into a relationship with someone. I was totally wide open. The intensity of connection I had in that relationship was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before in my life. I allowed myself to be completely open to the experience and saw how much it nourished me. I felt whole, and my whole body felt alive. When the relationship ended, it was exquisitely painful. Even if I had known it would end, I would still do it all again. The experience gave me a reference to feelings I’d never had before. Now, I see how much I want that in my life and how necessary it is—connection, intimacy, laughter, excitement, and growth. I feel like an adult now, somebody who has experienced life deeply and strongly.
I feel more alive and vibrant. I remember what it felt like to be young; I feel everything more intensely now. I’m more aware of my desires, and I’m so much more aware when I feel a “yes” in my body and when I feel a “no.” I’m so grateful for every experience that Orgasmic Meditation has led me to and just so grateful that it gave me back my life.
