I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation while I was going through my divorce. I remember being so excited by this totally new practice, but I didn’t check it out because it just wasn’t the time. Divorce was a hard process, but we split amicably in the end. I'd been miserable for a lot of years, and so the period after the divorce was actually wonderful. It was a death of the miserable, really, and a rebirth. I wanted to go out and make meaningful connections. I was in the right space to take on love and felt like the world was my oyster.
I was living in London when I met a guy who was into Orgasmic Meditation. When it came time for me to have my first Orgasmic Meditation, I was ready for it but still didn't really know what to expect. I remember my thighs and legs being tense. I just couldn’t completely relax, and I found the experience to be incredibly unpleasant. I remember going in thinking it would be completely orgasmic, and then I didn’t have an orgasm. I felt like a piece of wood being touched.
At the same time, it was pretty amazing spreading my legs for a man and not having it be in the context of getting ready for penetration or having sex. I had no idea what he was thinking about. There was no game playing, no hopes and dreams of a Romeo and Juliet encounter. I was exposing my body in a completely different way to somebody who was going to accept it and respect it. I didn't have to be special. I didn't have to be Juliet. I didn’t have to worry about his hopes and dreams. It was just me having an experience.
I loved OMing with a varied collection of people of all ages and different backgrounds. People who are drawn to OM think differently and seem to be on their own mission. I understood it was about opening up my body and learning to receive in a new way. But I am a slow learner. I release things slowly, and I process things slowly.
I learned how to be more comfortable with my body. Never in my life had I exposed my body and not gone on a diet beforehand. Before Orgasmic Meditation, I was always worried about my body and how it looked. I must have my legs shaved. I must have the perfect bikini wax. The cellulite on my thighs has bothered me ever since I was a teenager. Early on, I stopped worrying about those things. I remember one time I scheduled for a couple of OMs, and I had my period. So I asked both my partners beforehand, “Do you mind? And they both said, “No, it doesn't bother me at all.” I’d never experienced that kind of unconcerned consciousness. The guys who OM are far more accepting than most men I’ve ever met. It's beautiful. They helped me to learn not to care… in a good way.
Today, Orgasmic Meditation has led to all sorts of different experiences. My ego is much more confident and relaxed in social situations. I can bounce back from things and be myself much more easily in intimate situations.
